Friday, 26 August 2011

Trinity of Games: The Miniatures part 2 - Warmachine worst

First I said one post, then I said four. Now, I say... It's gonna be a few.

Today is all about the reason I play Hordes, not Warmachine. The Warmachine models that make my hackles rise because they're so bad.

Consider this the "bad news first". Next post will be about the really good ones.

So, what first?

Easy. Warjacks.

A couple of weeks ago, my evaluation would have been three words: don't like 'em.

I'll admit, they've grown on me. Some. Some are still crap. Part of the central design still bums me out.

As usual, the pictures aren't mine. They're the ones by Privateer.

So without further ado:

The Cryx Corrupter.

This Warjack epitomizes my primary beef with Warjacks in general. Look at those hips. Then try to make an estimate of the weight of the torso and arms. Then look at the hips again. And those are supposed to be moving parts, capable of holding up while under fire? Colour me unconvinced.

The Retribution of Scyrah Phoenix.

This guy... Remove the head, the ridiculous sword and the nesting gun drones, and this might be a decent model.

It does, however, fall into the second Warjack category that annoys me.

I get it, it's a dangerous world, you want machines to fight for you. Fine. You want one that fights up close and personal, so you add some sharp bits. Why not? But why, oh frikking-lord-why, would you give the multi-tonne fighting machine a teensy little hadn to hold that sharp bit? Wouldn't it make more sense to, oh I don't know, weld it straight onto his arm?

Deep, calming breaths...

Next in front of the firing squad:

The Cryx Scavenger.

This one, is just plain weird. Not only does it look like it would break under its own weight, it also looks like it's trying to be blown over.

Moving on. No more Warjacks. I feel the point has been made.

Iron Lord Asphyxious.

I suspect that one of these is old, and one new. I don't like either one. Combining ethereal-looking robes with clunky, solid-looking torsos... Not a good idea.

Retribution of Scyrah Dawnlord Vyros.

One: don't call the elf knight in white Virus. Two: What the flaming tarpits of hell is up with that sword? I get it, it's difficult to make thin things in metal. My solution: don't make it worse than it is. If that was a Tyranid Bonesword, on a Tyrant, I might have let it pass. As the primary armament of the whimpiest humanoid this side of halflings? Nope. Move along.

Lastly, to further cement the impression that I hate Cryx (I don't. They have a lot of cool models. They also appear to be very hit/miss):

Cryx Soulhunters.
I'm not sure I'm going to dignify these with an explanation. They look like something that might crwal out of a glue-an-bitz-box accident.

And on that cheerful note, that's it for this time.

Check in whenever I post next for some actual good models.

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